Why do we hide?

Aug 07, 2012 06:04 PM
Running this site for six years and talking to lots of sleepy enthusiasts has taught me a lot about our community. Today I want to talk about one aspect of our community I think we all have in common: keeping our fetish a secret.

Why do we hide? What are we ashamed about?


Let me tell you my story. I've had this sleepy fetish almost my whole life. It's an ingrained part of who I am. And I think like all sexual interests, having this sleepy interest was not a choice for me.
Even when I was a kid, I had an understanding that liking sleeping gas KO scenes was not normal. I would browse the early sleepy sites in secrecy, deleting my history and all that. I was constantly looking over my shoulder in case a family member would catch me in the act.

I wasn't even looking at pornography. What interested me was comic book and cartoon KO scenes. The stuff I viewed had no sex or nudity...yet I still hid my activities.

The first person I ever told was my brother. He was asking a lot of questions, and I was bad at hiding all my activities. I was launching my website and I couldn't keep it a secret any longer. So I showed him, and I definitely blew his mind!
An interesting thing happened though. He didn't shun me, or laugh at me. He just sort of...accepted it and moved on! I even try showing him my artwork, and he doesn't even care enough to look at it.

That's when I learned an interesting truth about life: most people don't really care about your life and your interests.

But I also think we as humans have a need to appear normal...to fit in with society. I think that's why we still hide our secret.
Look at the Colorado man who killed 12 people in a theater. The first thing the media pointed out, was how introverted and different he was from the rest of society. The message is clear: being different is bad.

That perception needs to change. I want to change it. And I think it is changing. I mean, 20 years ago if you said you were gay, you would have been received much more negatively by society. Today, we are successfully pushing gay marriage legislation through...even our President supports it. In addition to that, people are starting to recognize that other sexual identities should be accepted by society as well.

So with that, what are some things we can do to change perceptions?

  • Embrace your interest - don't think of it as a curse. Learn to think about it in positive ways.

  • Educate people - if people find out, don't hide! Confidently tell them that this is your identity and that there is nothing to be ashamed about. Chances are, they are into something weird as well.



That being said...for some reason, I still don't tell people! But they don't ask, so it's okay :-)

Tell me what you think! What are your reasons for keeping your sleepy fetish a secret?


PS: The Sleepycomics.com Originals Store is working like I expected. 8 people have purchased the drawing so far. I think "Supergirl Chloroformed" is a really cool piece of art and for just 99 cents you can see it today!

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( 16 )

gytalf2000
Aug 07, 2012
I never thought that being different was bad! I do realize that you might not want to go to the rooftop and shout out all your odd sexual fetishes to everyone that can hear, but it isn't like you have bodies in your basement, or anything like that! Ha! You may qualify as "odd and curious", but who cares? Why would you want to be just like everyone else? Boring...

Another thing comes to mind -- it seems like so many of my fellow fetishists thought that they were the only ones. I never thought that! I was convinced that a few comic artists and writers were KO enthusiasts, as well. I didn't know it for a fact, but I had my suspicions.

Now, it was a bit embarrassing to have my mom suspect (talking about sex to your mom while you are a teenager is a bit squicky), but it really wasn't all that bad. It turns out that my dad (he died when I was a baby)likely had the same fetish!

I told all my close friends when I was thirteen or fourteen. They were all fine with it! One of them confessed to having a bondage fetish.

My real name is right up there when you access my "Deviant Art" page. I ain't hiding nuthin'! Ha!

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Red
Aug 07, 2012
@gytalf2000 Dude, you are like a celebrity in the sleepy fetish world. You are so open too with your identity. I see the photos of yourself that you post on deviantArt. I'm still too scared to do that!

I've actually revealed this to some of my friends too. They don't care either.

Never met anyone who confessed to a bondage fetish though. For some reason though, BDSM is seen as more mainstream.

My parents probably suspect something is up with me, but they never confronted me.

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gytalf2000
Aug 07, 2012
@Red Well, my confession was back in the 1970s. (I'm currently 51 years old.) I don't know how "mainstream" bondage was back then. Our sleepy fetish seems to be at least somewhat related to that type of fetish, but not as well-known, perhaps because it is a bit more rare.
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musdy
Aug 07, 2012
Unfortunately I am surrounded by people who would judge me differently if they ever found out.
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Red
Aug 07, 2012
@musdy Sorry to hear that! So you're taking this secret to the grave I take it?
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musdy
Aug 07, 2012
@Red Probably.
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musdy
Aug 08, 2012
@Red Hopefully I know exactly when I die so I can get rid of the evidence.
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Venomous
Aug 10, 2012
Because many people still have knee-jerk reactions and are quick to judge, under the guise of having "firm principles"...

This is especially true for something like this, where the knee-jerk reaction is much more likely to be [i]"omg this is malicious" *rambling doomsaying about culture-death*[/i].

I'm glad your experiences in sharing have been generally benign, but I've been mocked for much less. If somebody starts talking shit I'll speak up for my kink, but for now only my girlfriend knows, and I'm fine with that.

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Red
Aug 10, 2012
@Venomous Totally agree man. Especially with "chloro" scenes, the first thing people probably think of is "OMG rape!". People still can't separate fantasy from reality.

Luckily I think our kink is quite tame. I'm glad I have a sleepy fetish, instead of something weirder!

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SGKOfan
Aug 10, 2012
I fall into the keep it secret camp.

I've never shared this with anyone I know because I fear that freak out reaction. The same goes for my superheroine fetish. I don't think people will get it. I wish I was more comfortable with it. Maybe if one of my friends shared something they considered 'odd', I might do the same.

Till then....lips are shut.

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Red
Aug 10, 2012
@SGKOfan The sleepy fetish I can understand keeping it a secret. But I think 'superheroines' are mainstream enough that there's no shame in liking it.
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SGKOfan
Aug 11, 2012
@Red I see the SHIP one combing so many other stuff like sleepy, bondage, it makes that 'weird' as well. Like you said earlier people will be like, OMG you want to rape girls!

Of course that's not why I like it. In fact I hate the all the sexual stuff that makes up a lot of SHIP genre. Luckily there are some sites and stuff out there that carter to my likes. Sleeperkids site being an example.

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SGKOfan
Aug 11, 2012
@SGKOfan Just to make it clear, I'm not saying I see SHIP/Sleepy as weird, I meant others when they look at it.
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Red
Aug 11, 2012
@SGKOfan ...and I hope sleepycomics.com is one of your top sites as well :-)

I don't like the explicit sexual stuff either - it is more of a distraction than a turn on.

There are not many sites that cater to our interest, but I think interest is growing. The amount of sleepy artists is tiny compared to bondage. I'm looking to change that with my site and art!

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SGKOfan
Aug 11, 2012
@Red No worries it is. The original art idea for .99 cents is a great idea Red. Hope you do some more SG in the future, maybe with the more classic costume.
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Red
Aug 11, 2012
@SGKOfan Thanks! I should have a new piece for sale in a few days. I like Supergirl's classic costume too, with the original boots and skirt!
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